jacob

I believe it's time for me to be famous and out of place

follow for bad jokes

So one of my best friends had a medieval fantasy wedding

congalineofdurin:

at a hella cool castle

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the groom channeled Thranduil and the Baratheons

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the bridesmaids were elf maidens

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the court jester and town crier were there

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the cakes were gorgeous

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luckily a friar was passing through town who was able to officiate (“mawwaige,” he said, “is what bwings us togevver today”)

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the bride’s chariot was pulled by the most beautiful creature

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unfortunately, as with all medieval weddings, there is the dragon problem

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(via leach420)

contraception:

a support group for people who started saying YAAAAAAS ironically and now can’t stop

(via dasindonuts)

  • Mom: why is everything on the floor?
  • Me: gravity mom
piercingthe-ongelooflijk:

THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL I DIDN’T EVEN SLOW DOWN THE GIF THAT’S EXACTLY THE SPEED THEY FOUGHT AT 
demon-potato:

ohh-whatsername:

robertshmurder:

the game is evolving too quickly

THIS DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE LIKE THEY ALREADY HAVE THE CONTACT INFORMATION WHAT THE FUCK

no I think this is on an app not on iMessage
jarredpadasexi:

isoldmysoultothetimelord:



OH MY FUCKIN GOD
thatferrybroad:

wliabl:

Cleopatra’s Underwater Palace, Egypt 

I still don’t get why no one is LOSING THEIR FUCKING SHIT OVER THIS FIND
iT SURVIVED THE EARTHQUAKE THAT LEVELED THE REST OF THE CITY IN 365 A.D. 
CLEOPATRA’S FUCKING PALACE
WITH INTACT FUCKING STATUARY
NOT TO MENTION THE REST OF THE FUCKING ENTIRE GODDAMN ISLAND OF ANTIRRHODOS INCLUDING THE ANCIENT PORT OF ALEXANDRIA
AND THEY’RE GONNA BUILD A MOTHERFUCKING UNDERWATER MUSEUM
UNDERWATER. MUSEUM.
can I be a mermaid tour guide there or some shit, you don’t even have to pay me i will just live there forever oh my fucking god
deathtraders:

You see the holes on my knees apply ventilation to my crouch area